This past Saturday night, actually Sunday morning at 4am, I packed my three children into my car and headed to Pittsburgh, PA. In my opinion, the pitts of America.
My parents were going to the same wedding, therefore we decided we would drive together, caravan style. We mapped out the route via our GPS's and even printed out Google Map directions, to be sure that we were all going in the same direction, the same way.
It seemed to me as I was driving that dawn would never arrive. It was so dark at 4am, who would have thought it would be so dark. I hate driving in the dark, especially when I am so tired and cold all I want to do is get into bed.
About an hour into our trip, after going over the George Washington Bridge, making sure of course to follow the directions exactly, going over the upper level etc. and making excellent timing all the while, my mother calls to check in.
Hi, did you get off on the I-80. The I-80 I ask, where would that have been? Right after the George Washington Bridge, there was a sign, well i told her that is not where my GPS routed me. It was on the paper she says. The paper, I am freak'n driving myself with three kids in pitch blackness, I was not reading a paper when I have a perfectly amazing GPS. After a few more minutes discussing the directions we realized that for the remainder of my trip I would be all alone, traveling on empty highways, with three children in veritable darkness.
My mother assured me that we would meet up at some point, I agreed, we would meet again...it Pittsburgh. As we hung up the phone and I realized my predicament I began to panic. Panicking is not usually my style as I usually just step up to the plate and take it like a "woman" however, I was concerned and I was nervous and I felt alone. A terrible sinking feeling.
My husband was on a flight back from Israel, he would be meeting me in Pittsburgh, my parents, meeting me in Pittsburgh, the rest of my family, the same. Aha, so I was not so alone as I would be meeting up with everyone at my destination, only my journey would be lonesome. Ok, not so bad. But really, I had five hours left, so actually, yes, it was so bad.
In the end I realize that some people have lonesome Journeys, sometimes people have lonesome lives, but thank G-d all I had here was a bout of separation anxiety for my very, thankfully, un-lonesome life.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I Don't Wanna...
We are leaving for Pittsburgh soon, for a cousin's wedding. I am excited to get out of town as I could really use a change of scenery. The drive however, is 8 hours, and I DON'T WANNA! I don't wanna drive, I don't wanna have to drink caffeinated beverages get the shakes and jitters and feel as I am flying. I don't wanna have to hear my kids whine "are we there yet," I don't wanna have to feel bad because my 15 month old son is stuck in his car seat instead of running around outside in the fresh fall air, I don't wanna have to wonder if the kids are fed, need the bathroom, if the gas tank is low and most importantly IF I WILL STAY AWAKE THE WHOLE TIME.
Truth be told, I am excited to just be at the wedding already. My husband, who has been out of town in Israel for ten days will be joining me in Pittsburgh, we are all looking forward to seeing him. We also know the wedding will be fun, the hotel luxurious, and its great to get to be with family for something so happy. I will keep my eye on the prize as I am really feeling like I DON'T WANNA.
Now as this post is being written I have a psychology paper due on how hearing effects development, you can bet your bottom dollar I DO NOT want to be doing that either. In a future post I will relate to you how this trip went as well as an I DON'T wanna mini-series. In the meantime, wish me luck and GODSPEED on this journey to another state.
Truth be told, I am excited to just be at the wedding already. My husband, who has been out of town in Israel for ten days will be joining me in Pittsburgh, we are all looking forward to seeing him. We also know the wedding will be fun, the hotel luxurious, and its great to get to be with family for something so happy. I will keep my eye on the prize as I am really feeling like I DON'T WANNA.
Now as this post is being written I have a psychology paper due on how hearing effects development, you can bet your bottom dollar I DO NOT want to be doing that either. In a future post I will relate to you how this trip went as well as an I DON'T wanna mini-series. In the meantime, wish me luck and GODSPEED on this journey to another state.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
15 minutes
This morning my family arose at 6:45 rather than the usual 7:02. What a difference 15 minutes makes. It was my daughter Mushka who suggested this. She had some homework that we didn't get a chance to finish last night so she suggested an earlier wake-up time. Everyone was dressed by 6:55! We finished homework and breakfast by 7:09. I think this is record timing!! The best is what comes next.
Having finished breakfast we just hung out and chilled and chatted on the couch about whatever came to their minds. Mushka wanted to know if we were going to Israel. Leiba asked me to test her on some hebrew letters. My son, he was walking around with the vacuum cleaner stick wreaking havoc on my wood floors.
After this we headed downstairs to wait for their ride to school where we had a few minutes to be outside in the humid, damp, foggy and warm morning before their 7:40 pickup.
It really amazes me how those 15 minutes made all the difference from a hectic morning to a nice peaceful one that left us all time to talk. Maybe we will will start this for the rest of the year.
Truth be told as I write this I am passing out in my bed as I am exhausted being robbed of my last 15 sleep minutes.
Having finished breakfast we just hung out and chilled and chatted on the couch about whatever came to their minds. Mushka wanted to know if we were going to Israel. Leiba asked me to test her on some hebrew letters. My son, he was walking around with the vacuum cleaner stick wreaking havoc on my wood floors.
After this we headed downstairs to wait for their ride to school where we had a few minutes to be outside in the humid, damp, foggy and warm morning before their 7:40 pickup.
It really amazes me how those 15 minutes made all the difference from a hectic morning to a nice peaceful one that left us all time to talk. Maybe we will will start this for the rest of the year.
Truth be told as I write this I am passing out in my bed as I am exhausted being robbed of my last 15 sleep minutes.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Today I realized I have become just like a friend of mine that I used to look down upon. I was just being judgmental self when I would see her and her four kids living in literal filth. I could not understand how when I would visit her around dinner time, the breakfast dishes and food, were on the floor. The baby's highchair had various meals hardening on its tray. Cups and juice boxes would litter the floor and some kids were still wearing their PJs, faces smeared with dessert from one of the previous meals. What really got me, is that she had a full time houskeeper with her the WHOLE time.
I one time watched it unfold. The housekeeper came in the morning. She then began washing the clothing, the laundry room was piled high with garbage bags of clothing that needed to be washed. She then would help prepare the various meals of the day and attempt to go from bedroom to bedroom picking up dirty diapers, cups, food trays and making the beds. By the time she would get back to the kitchen to clean there would be at least another five hours of work.
Now you are probably wondering if this is what I mean when I said that I have become like this friend. Well, my house does not THANKFULLY look anything like this woman's house, however my kitchen does.
Today, while I was kneading 15lbs of challah dough I looked around my kitchen and that is when it hit me. There was my son, still in his PJs climbing onto his sister's chair reaching for her omelet. Then knocking her Corelle plate onto the floor and exclaiming "ohhh" as it clattered to the floor. A minute later he moved onto the next chair and started banging a fork onto the glass that was filled with chocolate milk.
Then my daughters came in. They, thankfully dressed themselves today in 86 degree weather in turtle necks and boots that we had bought last season. To make matters more interesting there are currently three full, bursting bags of garbage on the kitchen floor, dishes piled high on either counter, the table is full of trays of food and no end in sight to the cooking.
But maybe a miracle will happen. The house keeper is supposed to come soon and because I always make sure to keep the bedrooms as neat as possible, perhaps my kitchen and my kids will look somewhat decent by the time we are all going to bed.
I one time watched it unfold. The housekeeper came in the morning. She then began washing the clothing, the laundry room was piled high with garbage bags of clothing that needed to be washed. She then would help prepare the various meals of the day and attempt to go from bedroom to bedroom picking up dirty diapers, cups, food trays and making the beds. By the time she would get back to the kitchen to clean there would be at least another five hours of work.
Now you are probably wondering if this is what I mean when I said that I have become like this friend. Well, my house does not THANKFULLY look anything like this woman's house, however my kitchen does.
Today, while I was kneading 15lbs of challah dough I looked around my kitchen and that is when it hit me. There was my son, still in his PJs climbing onto his sister's chair reaching for her omelet. Then knocking her Corelle plate onto the floor and exclaiming "ohhh" as it clattered to the floor. A minute later he moved onto the next chair and started banging a fork onto the glass that was filled with chocolate milk.
Then my daughters came in. They, thankfully dressed themselves today in 86 degree weather in turtle necks and boots that we had bought last season. To make matters more interesting there are currently three full, bursting bags of garbage on the kitchen floor, dishes piled high on either counter, the table is full of trays of food and no end in sight to the cooking.
But maybe a miracle will happen. The house keeper is supposed to come soon and because I always make sure to keep the bedrooms as neat as possible, perhaps my kitchen and my kids will look somewhat decent by the time we are all going to bed.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Background Noise
Did you ever try to read or write something while someone else is listening/watching some really bad UTUBE videos?
Some people find it fascinating to view all types of videos etc. etc. They click on one thing and then before you know it, it is an hour later and they are still sitting there watching a variety of stupidity. I realize that it is addicting. What happens is simple; Your friend sends you link to something that they find amusing. You click, you watch, you find it mildly amusing. Next the site you are visiting "suggests" similar things that you may find interest in and the cycle repeats.
I personally NEVER watch any of the links that people send me, fearful that I will perpetuate the aforementioned behavior. Unless someone specifically tells me why I must watch a certain piece, I just delete it.
Back to my basic point, is that this evening I was trying to blog about some of the things that occurred today, but it was IMPOSSIBLE as there was too much background noise. Not the classical music type that sometimes help stir some emotion, or gets your brain working at maximum capacity. It was the type that kept making me forget my "eloquent" lines and caused me to make numerous spelling mistakes. Once in a while I would look over to the various videos that were screwing up my concentration and could not find why someone would even CLICK.
When your background noise becomes your frontal focus, I pity you, as I am sure that all your responsibilities fade away and your brain turns to jelly.
Some people find it fascinating to view all types of videos etc. etc. They click on one thing and then before you know it, it is an hour later and they are still sitting there watching a variety of stupidity. I realize that it is addicting. What happens is simple; Your friend sends you link to something that they find amusing. You click, you watch, you find it mildly amusing. Next the site you are visiting "suggests" similar things that you may find interest in and the cycle repeats.
I personally NEVER watch any of the links that people send me, fearful that I will perpetuate the aforementioned behavior. Unless someone specifically tells me why I must watch a certain piece, I just delete it.
Back to my basic point, is that this evening I was trying to blog about some of the things that occurred today, but it was IMPOSSIBLE as there was too much background noise. Not the classical music type that sometimes help stir some emotion, or gets your brain working at maximum capacity. It was the type that kept making me forget my "eloquent" lines and caused me to make numerous spelling mistakes. Once in a while I would look over to the various videos that were screwing up my concentration and could not find why someone would even CLICK.
When your background noise becomes your frontal focus, I pity you, as I am sure that all your responsibilities fade away and your brain turns to jelly.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Making Ends Meet
"Whenever I almost make the ends meet, someone moves an end." This is a magnet that I have one my refrigerator, and it totally rings true, even though it has a very negative connotation.
Money, I really wish I had some. I can honestly say I have 98% of what I need, so its not that I need money for my needs, or even for my wants, because really all I want is to have my needs fulfilled.
However, every now and then I get a reminder that my needs are greater than what I realize. For instance, my children's school bill arrived. Along with a letter saying that $1075.00 is due immediately to secure their admission into school next year.
Great, where the heck am I supposed to come up with that. I filled out the paperwork for seventeen hours, now I just need the money. This type of thing just makes me want to have a job that I can stash some income away so that when these types of things arise, I have money for them.
I am a professional volunteer. That means my entire life is given over to volunteering. I receive compensation when someone feels ingratiated by what I have done for them and drops a donation my way based on what they deem reasonable. What a life? What was I thinking signing up for this? Can't I get a real job? I suppose I should. This volunteering stuff just "ain't" cutting it.
So next time I feel like I have the ends just about meeting, and that I have all I really need, thank G-d, I will remind myself that the school bill is still not paid and perhaps a life of committed to the "greater good" needs some re-evaluation.
Money, I really wish I had some. I can honestly say I have 98% of what I need, so its not that I need money for my needs, or even for my wants, because really all I want is to have my needs fulfilled.
However, every now and then I get a reminder that my needs are greater than what I realize. For instance, my children's school bill arrived. Along with a letter saying that $1075.00 is due immediately to secure their admission into school next year.
Great, where the heck am I supposed to come up with that. I filled out the paperwork for seventeen hours, now I just need the money. This type of thing just makes me want to have a job that I can stash some income away so that when these types of things arise, I have money for them.
I am a professional volunteer. That means my entire life is given over to volunteering. I receive compensation when someone feels ingratiated by what I have done for them and drops a donation my way based on what they deem reasonable. What a life? What was I thinking signing up for this? Can't I get a real job? I suppose I should. This volunteering stuff just "ain't" cutting it.
So next time I feel like I have the ends just about meeting, and that I have all I really need, thank G-d, I will remind myself that the school bill is still not paid and perhaps a life of committed to the "greater good" needs some re-evaluation.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Are We There Yet?
Many times I find myself asking "are we there yet?" To some it may seem like I am merely asking if we have gotten to some destination or something. However, I feel that it is my mantra, it is even my BBM status at all times. "Are we there yet," refers to any situation in my life that I feel that the outcome is just not quite clear yet and I would rather be elsewhere or be done with whatever I am presently doing.
Recently, we all went gown shopping, as one of my many sisters is getting married in about a month, "Are we there yet," was all I could think in the hours upon hours of trying on styles, shapes, colors, analyzing, pricing and comparing the many many gowns.
Often I will be at a dinner party, "are we there yet," is anyone having any fun yet? Is the time going to pass any faster? At that point some good wine or vodka is sorely needed and often provides the temporary respite, but seriously, can we just be done with this, I would much rather be checking facebook or accomplishing something purposeful.
Thursdays are my absolute WORST day of the week. It is the day that I must start preparing for shabbos. My house gets straightened and a four course dinner and lunch is prepared. All that and 15 pounds of challah dough must be kneaded, shaped, and baked. It is treacherous and I dread it almost every week. This is all while balancing the children, making sure they are fed, lunches prepared for the next day, and kitchen not TRASHED as I never know who may show up at my home. All I can think about on Thursdays is "are we there yet."
However, when I am basically all done with everything for Friday night, sometime on Friday afternoon, I never stop to relish that moment, as the next stage of dinner and what not is right upon my heels making me think, "are we there yet?"
As I was frantically finishing up my chocolate pecan tart for ten tonight, I kept thinking "are we there yet," as the tart had many steps including a cooling point that never seemed to happen, and I just wanted to get to bed already. But then I thought to myself that we are probably NEVER there. I should just get over it and realize that probably death is the only thing that is so "there" that there is no where to go, nothing to look forward to, and nothing to do.
So even though I often find myself dreading whatever I am currently doing or anticipating and even though I probably will ALWAYS think to myself, "are we there yet," I should stop and smell the chocolate pecan tart and realize that No, I AM NOT THERE, but I better get myself over HERE.
Recently, we all went gown shopping, as one of my many sisters is getting married in about a month, "Are we there yet," was all I could think in the hours upon hours of trying on styles, shapes, colors, analyzing, pricing and comparing the many many gowns.
Often I will be at a dinner party, "are we there yet," is anyone having any fun yet? Is the time going to pass any faster? At that point some good wine or vodka is sorely needed and often provides the temporary respite, but seriously, can we just be done with this, I would much rather be checking facebook or accomplishing something purposeful.
Thursdays are my absolute WORST day of the week. It is the day that I must start preparing for shabbos. My house gets straightened and a four course dinner and lunch is prepared. All that and 15 pounds of challah dough must be kneaded, shaped, and baked. It is treacherous and I dread it almost every week. This is all while balancing the children, making sure they are fed, lunches prepared for the next day, and kitchen not TRASHED as I never know who may show up at my home. All I can think about on Thursdays is "are we there yet."
However, when I am basically all done with everything for Friday night, sometime on Friday afternoon, I never stop to relish that moment, as the next stage of dinner and what not is right upon my heels making me think, "are we there yet?"
As I was frantically finishing up my chocolate pecan tart for ten tonight, I kept thinking "are we there yet," as the tart had many steps including a cooling point that never seemed to happen, and I just wanted to get to bed already. But then I thought to myself that we are probably NEVER there. I should just get over it and realize that probably death is the only thing that is so "there" that there is no where to go, nothing to look forward to, and nothing to do.
So even though I often find myself dreading whatever I am currently doing or anticipating and even though I probably will ALWAYS think to myself, "are we there yet," I should stop and smell the chocolate pecan tart and realize that No, I AM NOT THERE, but I better get myself over HERE.
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